Work advice: I'm exempt from our company's return to office order. My colleagues are not taking that well.


AI Summary Hide AI Generated Summary

Workplace Accommodation Conflict

The article features advice columns addressing workplace issues. The first concerns an employee with a disability granted a work-from-home accommodation, facing questions and comments from colleagues returning to the office. The advice suggests politely but firmly deflecting inquiries, possibly involving HR, and mentioning the accommodation without details.

Ethical Dilemma of Paid Services

The second column explores an individual's discomfort with charging for services they believe should be free. Advice includes implementing a sliding scale for clients and emphasizing the importance of fair compensation in their profession to maintain accessibility for others.

Committee Responsibility Dispute

The third column focuses on an employee's dispute over responsibility for delivering collected donations after their committee term ends. The advice suggests involving other committee members or making a single delivery, showcasing the manager's lack of commitment.

Sign in to unlock more AI features Sign in with Google

Good Job is Slate’s advice column on work. Have a workplace problem big or small? Send it to Laura Helmuth and Doree Shafrir here. It’s anonymous!

Dear Good Job,

​​I have an invisible disability for which I was granted a reasonable accommodation a couple of years ago. This accommodation allows me to work from home full-time. Now all of the other people in my organization have been forced back into the office five days a week.

This has led to some awkward questions from co-workers, friends, and non-immediate family, mostly of the “why are you getting to do this and we’re not” variety. There is one co-worker in particular who makes some oblique comment about it every time she sees me, and it is getting tiresome. It is my understanding that under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) and the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA), I am not obligated to (nor should I) reveal any details regarding this accommodation or the disability. Can you help me with a firm-but-polite script that will shut down any further inappropriate inquiries and comments from folks both inside and outside the workplace?

—Those Who Need to Know Already Do

Dear Already Do,

I’m sorry you’re dealing with petty jealousy and suspicion from co-workers about a reasonable accommodation that is none of their beeswax. Depending on the size of your organization, you are probably not the only person who works remotely or has other accommodations such as non-standard hours or recurring blocks of time when they’re unavailable. You could tell human resources that you’re getting some unpleasant comments, and ask them to circulate guidelines about respecting other people’s privacy regarding their working arrangements. Your manager is presumably aware of your accommodation, if not the full reason for it, and you could ask them for help solving the problem. The trick is to ask for advice, not to come off as a tattle-tale (although if the manager asks who keeps making snide comments, feel free to share names). Your manager could re-share human resources’ guidelines for emphasis (since people don’t always pay attention to human resources or messages communicating general guidelines).

You’re right that you are not obligated to reveal details to anyone other than those who need to know. But secrecy can inadvertently contribute to stigma. In an ideal workplace, you could breezily say you have an accommodation, and your co-workers would appreciate the clarity and not judge you or ask prying questions. If you trust that most of them (aside from the one who keeps making oblique comments) have good intentions, you could help destigmatize accommodations by mentioning that you have one. Demonstrate that it’s a standard business practice and nothing to be ashamed of. Some of your colleagues with invisible disabilities might appreciate it and come to you for advice on how to advocate for their own accommodations.

Send Your Questions to Good Job!

Laura Helmuth and Doree Shafrir want to help you navigate your social dynamics at work. Does your colleague constantly bug you after hours? Has an ill-advised work romance gone awry? Ask us your question here!

Dear Good Job,

I hate taking money for the work I do. I won’t say specifically what my job is because it doesn’t matter. The service I provide is one that I think should be free for everyone—in the same way I think health care, child care, education, food, and a place to live should be free for all.

The fact that I have to take money for the work I do takes all the joy out of the work. Don’t get me wrong, I believe that people deserve to be paid for providing work. But I hate the fact that people need to pay for what I provide.

So here’s the question: How do I square that circle? Obviously, I need to make money, and I believe that I deserve to be paid for what I do. But I hate doing it because part of the job involves people paying me for the work, which, as we have established, is something that I don’t think people should be required to do. I’m in therapy, and I’ve had this conversation with my therapist, but it wasn’t very productive.

—To Pay or Not to Pay … That Is the Question

Dear To Pay or Not to Pay,

Your letter should be cited by social scientists studying the conflict between intrinsic motivation and external reward. They’ve been arguing for decades about whether giving people payments for a task makes them enjoy it more and perform better, or sucks all the joy out of it. (The answer? It depends.) Aside from the fact that your services should be free and freely available to all, this fee-for-services system can be psychologically damaging all around!

But we’re stuck with this system for now, so how can you work within it? Depending on the service and your clientele, you could offer a sliding scale. Let your wealthier clients subsidize the less wealthy ones. If you have long-term relationships with your clients, some of them may start to earn enough to pay the full fee over time, and others might have a financial crisis and need to pay less for a while. Is there a way for you to volunteer similar services for the good of your community?

Another way to frame it is that, by requiring a fee, you are supporting the rest of the people in your profession. To take journalism as an example, a lot of publications used to offer unpaid internships. Students from wealthy families, especially ones whose parents lived in cities like Washington or New York, could work at a prestigious place for free and get a huge advantage at the beginning of their career. Students who had to make money couldn’t afford to take these internships. That’s one of the reasons people with family wealth are over-represented in journalism, and why many publications are failing to cover the current political crisis emphatically enough … but don’t get me started. Anyway, decent publications now offer paid internships, and we shun and shame those that don’t. If it’s any comfort, by participating in your field’s fee-for-services system, you keep your profession open to those who need to be paid.

To get back to psychology, another line of research suggests that when people pay for something, they value it more. This phenomenon is also debated, but there’s a chance that charging a fee makes your service more effective.

Slate Plus members get more Good Job every week. Sign up now to read Laura Helmuth’s additional column this week.

Dear Good Job,

My employer has several committees that one employee from each work group is expected to be a representative for, with a member of the management team in charge of the committee.

Last year, I was part of the group focused on giving back to the community, which is in charge of giving to and participating in local charitable events. I had heard about an organization that focuses on people who are/were living in shelters and are ready to move out on their own. This group helps supply their apartment, house, etc., with used furniture, small appliances, and other household items to save them money. The management representative said it sounded like a good cause to focus on and would consider how our company could help.

I was on vacation when the next group meeting was held. But then I attended the company’s quarterly employee engagement meeting, where all the employees gather to hear updates on the company. I was pleasantly surprised when our committee leader announced that they were going to put a collection bin in the employees’ break area to collect used, working small household appliances to give to the program I suggested. I wasn’t pleasantly surprised when a few weeks later, the committee manager asked when I was going to take the collected items to the organization. I asked why it was my responsibility, and I was told that it was my idea, and I have a pickup truck to haul the collected items. I was not very happy because the only time my schedule allowed me to take the items was on a Saturday morning.

On the 1st of this year, my time on the committee was done. This week, the committee manager approached me and asked when I was going to take the items, as the bin was full. I told him I was no longer on that committee, so it was no longer my responsibility. He told me it is my responsibility, as it was originally my idea. I responded with, “It was my idea, but the donation program is the responsibility of the committee, which I am no longer on.” He responded, “I guess the items will sit there, as I disagree with you on who should take the items.” Do you think it is still my responsibility to deliver the items?

—My Time Is Done

Dear My Time Is Done,

Help! My Husband’s Best Man Made a Stunning Admission During His Wedding Speech. I Might Never Get Over It. My Husband’s Assumption About My Workday Is Insulting. I Have a Proposal to Fix It. My Wife Woke Up One Morning to Find Our Baby’s Appearance Dramatically Altered. My Grandma Is to Blame. Help! My Wife Made a Scene at a Nice Restaurant. Then I Learned It Was Her Wicked Plan All Along.

Congratulations on identifying a good cause and getting your co-workers to support it. The manager of your former committee does not sound as dedicated to doing good works! They are being peevish and petty. Figuring out how to solve this problem is just the sort of thing a management team member should be able to do, but instead, they are the problem. Can you go around them and speak to other people who are still on the committee? Try members who seem to be on the committee because they care, not to get ahead at work. Explain that you’ve cycled off, but you want to make sure this program succeeds and hope another committee member can make the delivery.

If no one else agrees to take over, or if some of the donations are too big for standard vehicles and require a pick-up truck, it would be gracious of you to make the first delivery and then tell the committee the rest is up to them. You’d be helping people at this organization, and as a bonus, you’d be drawing attention to the fact that the management team member is a selfish, stubborn jerk.

—Laura

More Advice From Slate

I have three grandchildren, “Kris,” “Jessica,” and “Sam.” My grandmother inherited a beautiful diamond necklace from her mother that is worth a couple thousand dollars. It is the only big piece of jewelry in our family, and my grandmother left it to me with instructions to give it to my oldest granddaughter…

Get the best of news and politics Sign up for Slate's evening newsletter.

Was this article displayed correctly? Not happy with what you see?

We located an Open Access version of this article, legally shared by the author or publisher. Open It
Featured Extension

Tame your tab chaos with Taskify Tabs

Reading too many articles at once? Don't let your browser slow down. Magically save your open tabs as dynamic tasks, set reminders, and get immediate peace of mind.

  • 1-Click Tab Conversion: Turn cluttered tabs into structured tasks in seconds.
  • Smart Reminders: Set due dates so you never forget an important read.
  • 100% Private: Everything stays stored securely, only on your local device.
📑 Cluttered Tab
✓ Action Task
Add to Chrome — It's Free

Share this article with your
friends and colleagues.

Facebook



Share this article with your
friends and colleagues.

Facebook