The modern world is a noisy competition. Everyone tries to stand out and be the loudest voice in the room. Social media, networking events, even casual conversations, it looks like everyone is trying to promote themselves all the time. But watch any situation carefully and you'll notice something interesting: the guys who actually command respect are never the loudest ones.

They're the ones who don't need to announce themselves. When they walk in, conversations shift. People listen when they speak, even if they don't speak much. It's not arrogance, tricks or some manufactured "alpha" thing.

It's substance, weight, actual masculine “frame”, which has nothing to do with hacks and manipulation techniques, but stems instead from being grounded and committed to higher principles. It’s a quiet strength that comes from knowing who you are, why you're here, and Who you're anchored in.

Call it presence, call it gravitas, call it “aura”, they’re just different words to describe the same phenomenon. This kind of presence isn’t something you’re simply “born with”, it’s something you can build intentionally.

Here are five steps to do that:

Even though your clothes and external appearance won’t be the things that make you deeply respected, they are still worth taking care of. How do you expect other people to respect you when you don’t even look respectable?

Maybe in an ideal world your appearance wouldn’t matter at all, and we would all be able to make honest judgments exclusively a person’s heart and character, but we don’t live in an ideal world, and the truth is still that the external reflects the internal.

It’s not necessary —or ideal— to start excessively and compulsively worrying about how you look at all times, to the point of coming near to adopting a metrosexual approach. The goal is to be intentional about the way you present yourself, make sure you’re clean and well-groomed, and that you are dressed appropriately for each occasion.

Remember that people see you before they hear you. The way you carry yourself externally reflects the weight you carry internally.

Practical steps to take:

• Dress like you respect yourself.

• Fix the basics: Grooming, hygiene, posture.

Additional resources:

Your appearance needs to be taken care of because your appearance is the first bit of information that others read about you, before you even get a chance to open your mouth.

After that, it’s all about what you communicate through your body language and through your way of speaking. The vast majority of all communication is non-verbal, meaning that what you say usually matters way less than how you move and how you speak when you say it.

In practical terms, that means it’s worth putting some effort into learning the basics of body language and paying attention to the way you’re expressing yourself verbally.

Practical steps to take:

• Read the suggested book about body language below to learn the basics.

• Stop fidgeting, try to move more slowly as a general rule.

• Hold eye contact (without being creepy).

• Speak slowly and introduce some pauses.

• Shoulders back and open up your chest.

• Stillness and control = frame.

Additional resources:

Step 1 and 2 are mostly about external fixes. These are necessary steps to get started, but they fall short when it comes to developing true, honest frame. Most men just stop here and then try to fake being a man of actual substance, but that’s not what we want to do. Not only is that dishonest and fake, but it’s a losing game: only by working on the internal too can we really develop the presence of a man who’s grounded in his faith and in his principles, who knows where he’s going, and who is actually respected by his peers.

Here are steps 3-5 to do just that: