Come closer, I've got a secret to tell you.

There's a new kink in town and while you might not be aware of it yet, I can promise you it's being enthusiastically enjoyed in bedrooms everywhere.

This act - one you'd expect most men to hate, but they're actually secretly obsessed with - is fast becoming a mainstay of middle-class couples' bedroom repertoires.

I'm talking about cuckolding - yes, that magical C word. Some prefer to use its more mainstream moniker, 'the hotwife lifestyle'.

But whatever you call it, the rules remain the same. 

So... what is it all about?    

If you can't stand the idea of another person flirting with your partner, then imagine that jealousy on steroids, and perhaps accept this fetish might not be the one for you.

But if the thought of watching your other half enjoy themselves - and I mean really enjoy themselves - with someone else, pull up a chair and I'll tell you how it works. 

There's a new kink in town and while you might not be aware of it yet, I can promise you it's being enthusiastically enjoyed in bedrooms everywhere, writes Ebony Leigh 

Cuckolding is when a person (usually a husband, but not always) gets turned on by watching their wife or girlfriend have sex with someone else. 

This is not to be mistaken for a threesome, in which everyone all three parties are active participants.

In the traditional cuckold setting, the husband - or the Stag - he watches as his wife (the Cuckoldress) has sex with another man (known as the Bull). 

If you want to throw in some extra spice, some Stag enjoy an element of humiliation, like having his wife praise her lover's superior performance, but this isn't essential.

Call it cheating with consent, with the husband playing the role of conductor. And believe me when I say this, when done right, it's tantalising for everyone involved.

My first brush with this lifestyle came during a relationship a few years back.

I was in bed with my boyfriend when he gently broached the idea of a threesome. 

While I'd never had a ménage à trois before - believe it or not, I was slightly more vanilla back then - I was open to the idea.

Call it cheating with consent, with the husband playing the role of conductor. And believe me when I say this, when done right, it's tantalising for everyone involved (stock image) 

Our chemistry was incredible and through sharing our fantasies, we'd started to build a level of trust that allowed us to really explore new kinks.

My boyfriend asked his male friend to join us in the bedroom and it's fair to say we all thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. But to my surprise, my highlight of the threesome wasn't being shared by the two men.

No, the memory that still lives rent-free in my head years later was when my boyfriend said to me: 'I want to watch you two now.'

I locked eyes with him as he retreated from the bed and made himself comfortable on a chair in the corner.

I'd never been so excited in my life. As I occasionally glanced over at him during, I saw him flit between ecstasy and anxiety, joy and jealously.

There were times when I saw what must have been flashes of regret in his eyes, but I didn't stop.

Feeling like I was being cruel to him, yet he couldn't say or do anything because he'd asked for this, was all part of the thrill.

You see, people say 'hotwifing' or cuckolding is about exploration and boundaries, but ultimately for women it's about the thrill of cruelty. It's about breaking social rules, feeling like a very bad girl. 

And the icing on the cake that makes it better than cheating is your partner's barely contained passion afterwards when he demands to reclaim you. Good god.

Now, like with any sexual experimentation, it's important to put in some ground rules. Firstly...

Get on the same page as your partner

This means talking to your significant other about why this fetish is such a turn-on for you (or trying to understand why it really does it for them) and establishing how you're going to act on these desires.

You might prefer to keep it to kinky chats about past sexual experiences, or you might want to go the whole hog (or bull, should I say) and invite a third into the bedroom to act out the fantasy for real.

Whatever you decide to do, talk about it beforehand and know you can back out any time if you want to.

The second time I experimented with this fantasy I bypassed the threesome portion altogether. My date sat on a chair and admired our performance from a distance, having already agreed beforehand on what positions he wanted to see. 

How to find a third  

You might be surprised by just how many willing third parties are around.  

I'd personally recommend apps like Feeld, which is similar to Tinder and Hinge but more geared towards finding the right fit for a particular sexual fantasy or kink.

Then there are sex clubs and play parties which offer up an array of open-minded candidates, most of whom will only be too willing to make your fantasy a reality. 

The debrief 

Sometimes the hottest part of the experience is actually reliving it afterwards. 

This means going over every saucy detail, telling your partner exactly what you loved and why. 

See how long they can last before they're frantically reclaiming you. And I'm calling it now: reclaiming sex is the next make-up sex. 

Enjoy.