New research from Rightmove reveals a 19% increase in Americans inquiring about homes in the UK — an eight year high. 

Ironically, that’s when the first Trump term began.

According to the figures, Scotland has replaced London as unhappy Americans’ preferred location, with 28% of inquiries on Rightmove inquiring about homes for sale north of the border. 

A warning for my compatriots — the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. 

Controversial I know, coming from a United States citizen, but let’s be honest — we’re quite annoying at times; loud, unreserved, bad at football chants. We do tip hospitality workers though. 

Perhaps more importantly, the UK Government doesn’t want us here. PM Keir Starmer’s new immigration crackdown will only depress the number of visas available for folks from the United States. 

Sure, it’s a pleasant fantasy for some Trump critics. Fleeing the evil empire for the comfort of progressive Scotland, with its Irn Bru, Highland coos, and free health care. 

Trump's re-election has led to fears in many minorities communities across the United States. And yet. 

The United Kingdom has been gripped in its own right-wing turn in recent years. Just ask the Labour Party, who have backtracked on many of their ‘progressive’ policies in recent months.

Trans women can’t use female toilets, pensioners have had their winter fuel payments cut, and food banks usage is on the rise. Reform UK is leading the conversation on migration, and asylum seekers are demonised as benefit scourgers. 

One might not need to worry about mass shootings or the skyrocketing cost of eggs, but Scotland has its own problems. 

A mass exodus across the Atlantic — a reverse ‘brain drain’, if you will, would only exacerbate those issues. 

There’s nothing more annoying than an overbearing American; salivating over the one great-great-grandparent who came from Glasgow or Aberdeen a century ago. 

I think a general knowledge test should be mandatory to let these folks in the country, let alone stay longer than a week.

How do you pronounce ‘Edinburgh’? What colours do Celtic wear? Who is Susan Boyle?

Too far… perhaps. 

Maybe I’m a hypocrite. After all, I came to this beautiful country five years ago from the Garden State — New Jersey. 

To my credit, I’ve put in my due, first at uni, now in the workplace.

The UK Supreme Court recently ruled on the definition of a woman. A brief perusal of the r/MovetoScotland subreddit proves illuminating.  

“I'm a dual US-UK citizen currently living in the US. Entertaining the idea of retiring in Scotland”, one post reads.

A deeper look reveals the poster is a 30 year old man living in Los Angeles making $125,000 a year.

Well, colour me shocked. 

Let’s be clear. There’s nothing inherently wrong with Americans — if you can excuse the historical colonialism, slavery, Native American clearances, and dropping two atomic bombs. 

My countrymen and women have a lot to offer. Yet, it’s become somewhat dull to hear the same refrain every time a new president gets into office.

For everyone, Scots and Americans, it’s perhaps best that they stick things out at home. 

After all, at least it doesn’t rain as much.