“So what do you think about the Black Crows? I hear they’re great skis.”

“Oh yeah, sure, great skis! I like the Corvus Birdie for an all-around playful, floaty, powder ski.”

Watch: A SKI Editor Correctly Pronounces Skiing’s Most Confusing Words

“Hmmm, I thought the top sheet looked a little different than this… more of an all-over dark blue… like this one! [Points to own skis] Isn’t this Black Crows?”

This officially marks the 13th time we’ve had this interaction with a fellow skier who has mistaken Black Crows for Blizzard’s Black Pearls. But hey, we’re all pretty confused. For example, why do we Americans insist on constantly butchering the name of Italy’s most famous mountain range? (No, it doesn’t rhyme with “termites.”) It’s “Do-lo-mee-tee.” You should wave your clenched fingers in the air like a sweating Italian mother during a holiday cooking frenzy.

Black Crows … Black Pearls … tomayto-tomahto.  (Photo: Courtesy of Black Crows)

Before you think we’re picking on anyone, we’ve been known to commit a few word-dyslexia doozies ourselves. One of the funnier—and more embarrassing—ones: “balaclava” vs “baklava.” Will baklava keep my head warm in a blizzard? Perhaps, but only if the flaky Greek pastry is fresh out of the oven.

Maybe we’re not necessarily confused, but rather there’s just too much to keep track of in the world of skiing. Most skiers either fall into the know-it-all category or the just-want-to-ski category, while roughly 15 percent of us are moderately informed and just aim to get through a conversation about tip and tail construction without breaking a sweat.

To save face during those eye-rolling chairlift gear conversations, should we really need to study, research, recite, and repeat the sidecut stats and product features divulged in Blister’s robust ski reviews? I think not. All we really want is to be able to walk into our neighborhood ski shop and have a nice, safe conversation about our favorite sport.

“Hello young man. Do you sell the Castle FX skis here?”

“Oh, Kess-lee? Yes, right over here.” 

“Ah yes, Kāstle, of course… I’ve also got a few questions about the Volkee Mantras, if you don’t mind pointing me in the right direction?”

“The Völkl’s are going to be over here in the Always Pinned section.”

Fake it ‘til you make it, baby. 

In response to this mispronunciation pandemic, we recommend that the industry’s leading ski associations collaborate on a formulaic approach to clarifying consumers’ phonetic inaccuracies. This formula may be designed for a broad spectrum of applications, from brands to athlete names, resorts, and destinations. Find safety and solace in a definitive approach to the industry’s demanding spectrum of vocabulary. Maybe they can even print a cereal box version so we can keep it in our pockets next winter.

No need to fret next time you get your tongue tied. Just remember, this is a sport for jocks, not wordsmiths. Just taxi us up to the peak, push us down, and we’ll bank turns in our Shooos ski wear, tipping those Keslees up on edge, and planting our Leeeki poles with the German efficiency they demand.

The 13 Most Mispronounced Words in Skiing—And How To Say Them

Kāstle: /kes-lee/: Austrian ski manufacturer

Völkl: /vol-kel/: German ski manufacturer

Kjus: /shoe-ss/: Outerwear brand from Switzerland known for its high-end apparel

Blizzard: /bliz-erd/: Austrian ski manufacturer, pronounced just like the snowstorm

POC: /pah-k/: Manufacturer of mountain sport equipment, particularly helmets, eyewear, and apparel 

Voilé: /vò-lay/: Utah-based manufacturer of backcountry and mountaineering gear

Dynafit: /dee-nuh-fit/: German outdoor brand best known for lightweight gear and tech bindings used for ski touring.

Leki: /lay-key/: German mountaineering pole manufacturer 

Stöckli: /Stow-klee/: Swedish ski manufacturer 

Giro: /jee-roh/: Ski and bike helmet and eyewear manufacturer

Balaclava: /bah-la-clah-va/: A hooded facial covering intended to keep one’s head warm in cold temperatures

Dolomites: /do-lo-mee-tee/: A mountain range in the northeast corner of Italy known for its uniquely jagged peaks 

Chamonix: /chamôni/: A world-class ski destination in the Mont Blanc province of France