We’ve become weak, soft and effeminate. To become the men God wants us to become, we need to start by removing from our lives those habits that emasculate us and keep us from growing into strong, virtuous men.

Here are the top 10 habits that are killing your masculinity:

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.— Joshua 1:9

Look at the men around you and you’ll see that what they mostly are is afraid.

Afraid to fail. Afraid of discomfort. Afraid of pain and suffering. Afraid of missing out. Afraid of losing their possessions. There’s a cloud of fear hanging over all of us, and it’s led us to forget that God calls on us to be courageous and walk boldly.

Masculinity thrives on risk taking and overcoming fears. You won’t ever become the man you are called to be if you keep letting fear drive your decisions.

The cure for this habit: Make it a point to do things you’re scared of. It’s only in overcoming your fears that you strengthen your muscle of courage.

Do not wait for leaders. Do it alone, person to person.— Mother Teresa

It’s a sign of weak masculinity to be always reacting to what goes on around you instead of proactively building the life you want to live. Of course it’s God who ultimately decides our fate, but in the little things of life, in our work, in our relationships, and in everything else that goes on from sunset till sundown, it’s us who have to act.

A masculine man does not live reactively. “Oh but you said this so I said that and then you looked at me this way so I did this.” That’s not how a man should behave. You need to act, not react. You need to do the right thing regardless of what’s going on around you. Of course, be mindful and strategic and consider the information you receive, but ultimately, your actions shouldn’t be emotional, instinctive reactions to outside factors, but rather come from inside, from your commitment to virtue and from your role as a leader.

The cure for this habit: Learn to plan and execute. Develop leadership skills and practice leading even in the small situations of your life.

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.— 1 Corinthians 6:18

Controlling lust is the modern rite of passage from boyhood into manhood. Until you learn to control your sexual urges, you’ll forever be a slave to them.

Yes this is difficult. Yes, we live in a society in which we are bombarded by sexual content left and right. Yes, it’s the main sin of our age.

But that just means that conquering it makes you all the more powerful. A man who controls his sexual urges is a powerful man. He’s a man who has very strong self-control, and who isn’t ruled by his passions. Boys are ruled by emotion and pleasure. Men are ruled by morality and virtue.

The cure for this habit: Read my protocol for quitting p*rn and other forms of sexual immorality.

O my God, let me remember with gratitude and confess to thee thy mercies toward me.— Saint Augustine of Hippo

Masculine men are not entitled. They don’t pridefully claim they “deserve” anything. Instead, they appreciate whatever they have, and praise God for it. They know that every single good thing in their lives is due to God’s goodness, so they don’t inflate their egos and think they’re a big shot.

Gratitude is your antidote against childish entitlement. There’s nothing less masculine than a man who complains bout things being unfair and about not having what he feels like he deserves. You don’t deserve any more or less than what God decides you do, and accepting this humbly and gratefully makes a man masculine, centered, and wise.

The cure for this habit: Begin each day praising God and thanking Him for all the blessings He has given you. Do the same at the end of each day. A simple “Thank you, Lord” is enough to start. Don’t overcomplicate it, just say “thank you” from your heart.

In all toil there is profit, but mere talk tends only to poverty.— Proverbs 14:23

The new idol of many is so called “balance”. And what they call “balance” is in reality just plain laziness.

“Oh I’m tired from working halfheartedly all day so I’ll just procrastinate and watch Netflix for 4 hours straight, to relax a bit.”

Relaxation and so called “self-care” can very easily become an excuse to procrastinate and avoid your responsibilities.

Of course balance is important, but balance doesn’t ever mean you are allowed to disregard the necessary work and avoid the toil of life all of us have been assigned ever since our banishment from Eden.

The cure for this habit: Rest if you need to, but be very honest with yourself: are you really resting because you’ve worked hard or are you letting laziness take the wheel and lead you to neglect your responsibilities?