After suffering a dozen concussions at various moments in his career, Pucovski made a Sheffield Shield century against NSW in what was ultimately his penultimate game of cricket.
In Victoria’s next fixture against Tasmania, Pucovski was hit in the helmet by fast bowler Riley Meredith, which led to another challenging recovery.
“When the symptoms are ongoing, it’s pretty frightening,” Pucovski said. “My family have noticed a bit of a difference in me … that part is quite scary. As hard as it is, I think it comes to a point where you just have to accept it.
“The first couple of months were absolutely horrendous. Walking around the house was a struggle. My fiancée wasn’t too happy because I couldn’t contribute to many of the chores. I was sleeping a lot, then not sleeping at all.
“From there it’s been a really tough year because a lot of the symptoms haven’t really gone away.
“I’ve only just turned 27, the space of concussion is very young. You don’t really know what is what. You learn quickly this is a difficult space to deal in. A lot of the research isn’t quite there.”
Last year, Pucovski was advised against playing again by a medical panel – featuring representatives from Cricket Australia, Cricket Victoria and independent experts. It was widely reported that his time in the game was coming to an end but Pucovski said he wanted to make a decision when he was symptom-free.
“The medical panel recommended I be retired from professional cricket … and obviously [that was] a very difficult thing to come to terms with,” Pucovski said. “I felt like I had got over the hill with a few things.
“I think technically you can’t make anyone retire from anything ... it got made clear to me it was a strong recommendation but the final decision ultimately was up to me.
“Since then, I have spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to find different answers, seeing experts, trying to understand what the brain injury is that I have and why is this so ongoing.
“The difficulty is the fear of the unknown.”
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Pucovski, who is getting married on Friday, has accepted a role as head coach of the Melbourne Cricket Club’s premier men’s program. He has struggled to come to terms with not playing for Australia and Victoria over the past 12 months but is prioritising his long-term health.
“You want to hold on to that dream for as long as you can … but the flip side is you just want to feel better because you want to live your life normally,” Pucovski said.
“Yes [it is scary]. At 27, I’ve got so much ahead of me and so many things I want to achieve in my life.”
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