Each week, Dr Kirstin Ferguson tackles questions on workplace, career and leadership in her advice column, Got a Minute? This week: challenging the remote work imbalance, the inequity of an invisible workload, and leaked health information.

A senior leader is visiting our workplace to deliver a briefing and I want to hear the same information as everyone else at the same time, and be part of a shared conversation. However, I feel like I am being asked to do my job with one arm tied behind my back. It feels like an example of hidden patriarchy: more women than men have caring responsibilities, which is why I now work remotely. Is it OK for my employer to arrange a face-to-face meeting when I am employed in a remote capacity?

I suspect your contract states that your employer can require you to be in the office occasionally, and if this only happens once or twice a year, I would advise you to just head into the office for the meeting rather than cause a fuss.

However, if this is happening all the time (which, given how frustrated you sound, I suspect it is) then your employer is not taking into account the fact that for many – if not most – remote work is not a luxury but a structural response to a structural issue. Workers with caregiving responsibilities have been disadvantaged in the workplace for as long as women have been working (i.e. forever). Working from home allows some semblance of equity to juggle your responsibilities, but only if the arrangement is respected.

You could tell the organisers of the event how much you value being part of shared conversations. Ask if they can find a way to stream the event so you, and anyone else who is out of the office that day, can participate in real time on an equal footing, then hopefully that can become the default.

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I’ve been in my organisation for a few years. Around eight months ago, I was unofficially seconded into a project that was already over budget and had lost a few key staff. This work was done on top of my regular job, which was stressful and exhausting. I now dread work. I wasn’t seen as pivotal enough to properly second into the role, or to get the visibility the actual team did, even though I had just as much responsibility. My manager knew this was a terrible situation, but was unable to push back due to internal politics. I feel so much resentment and anger about the whole thing and don’t know how to move forward. Is there a way forward, or should I just call it and move on?

You sound burnt out, and I am not surprised. You were forced to undertake work that became invisible to others, even though you ensured the basket case of a project became a success. It is disappointing your manager knew the situation but sacrificed fixing it to save their own skin.

Don’t rush to a decision just yet. It sounds like you need a reset in your current role and that may be possible by speaking to your manager to explain how the experience has left you feeling demotivated and with reduced levels of trust. Make it clear what you need to see change, which might include visibility through a promotion or a new, formal appointment, or clear recognition of the work you have done.