Rox Bottom must go Full Monty.

The Rockies’ season is all but over just after beginning. The players showed up at Coors Field Saturday afternoon with baseball’s second worst record and not realizing that during the club’s history only three MLB teams who started the season with 1-6 marks recovered to reach the postseason.

Wait ‘til next decade! As I state annually, Dickie and Charlie (who apparently hides in a Greeley cellar) obviously don’t care a whit about their home state since the Brothers Grim won’t sell the Rockies to someone who does not play with scared money.

The Rox agonized through their most anemic start ever in 2024, concluding April with a 7-22 cataclysm. They will challenge that dubious distinction in 2025 this month with six straight games on the road against the Padres and the Dodgers (who each had only one loss before Saturday’s games). The Rockies can’t even dominate the Rays and the A’s. The Phillies swept them to the curb.

Last in runs and runs batted in (14) in the first seven games, the Rockies were first only in strikeouts with 82. Five relief pitchers have double-digit earned-run averages, and the defense is 23rd overall. The manager had praised his bullpen as top quality before the season, and Delusion Dick Monfort said the defense could be the best of all time in the sport.

What else is new about the same old Rockies?

Well, the ballpark has new brats and burgers, but offers the same old Bud Black and Kris Bryant. Both were booed on the bench opening day.

The only difference: Kris (with a K, as my columnist cohort Mark Kiszla has named him aptly) is a healthy scratch instead of an injured scratch, and Black fired his bullpen coach (whose primary job was to answer the phone).

Black should be retired and Bryant released -- NOW. The Rockies finished last in the National League with them, and they can finish last again without them. Besides, Bryant regretted signing with the Rockies and would prefer to be out of Colorado. And Black would rather be at his home in San Diego more than becoming the only Rox manager to manage 100 defeats in three consecutive seasons.

Go, Black and Bryant, and take Bill with you. GM Bill Schmidt has served as a faithful employee of the Rockies as a scouting sage since 1999, and what has that position gotten him and the team? They still don’t draft, trade or sign free agents who have produced above a below .500 mark.

The onus is on the owner, who admitted to me in the past that he is loyal (to a fault) to the Rockies staff, as the Monfort family always was with workers at the Greeley slaughterhouse that stunk to Denver.

The Rox can be steadfast immediately by promoting third base/infield coach Warren Schaeffer to interim manager to replace Black and promoting Zach Veen, MVP of spring training, to replace Bryant as an outfielder/designated hitter.

The Purple Rox are going nowhere, so they should be going Full Monty instead.

The No. 1 definition is based on the British expression “full amount expected, desired or necessary.’’ Another secondary meaning doesn’t apply here. The Rockies are completely exposed, though.

The Rox of the bottom never have announced publicly they are in a “rebuilding” mode even though they actually have been for years after giving up on Troy Tulowitzki, then Trevor Story, and Carlos Gonzalez, D.J. LeMahieu (when the Rockies did have an outstanding infield) and, of course, Nolan Arenado. They sought to achieve as the Astros did by rising from the ashes like a mythical Phoenix (the bird, not the Diamondbacks).

However the Rockies’ strategy is woefully wrong. They pay a has-been star $182 million when he’s not worth $182. They fill the lineup with other 30-something never-was players who are soon dispensed like gumdrops.

At least, they just brought up 2023 first-round pick and spring standout Chase Dollander to start Sunday. Don’t stop there, Delusional Dick. Get rid of Jacob Stallings, Kyle Farmer. Tyler Freeman and Bryant, and elevate Zeen, Yanquiel Fernandez, Adael Amador and Drew Romo. And sprinkle in with Dollander pitchers Zach Agnos and Diego Castillo

The Rockies have to be all-in and full-out on their own prospects. Or give up and get out.