Good Job is Slate’s advice column on work. Have a workplace problem big or small? Send it to Laura Helmuth and Doree Shafrir here. It’s anonymous!

Dear Good Job,

I’m an elder millennial who has had pretty good “success” and am now C-level for my division. I started my career in the same industry at the front line and now find myself being asked for professional advice from others, which I am always happy to give. I benefited from similar input from others during my career and enjoy paying it forward.

Recently, a less senior colleague from a different division, but with whom I’ve worked on various projects with, asked for my advice on how she could advance her career within our organization. She had applied for several promotions but has been unsuccessful. I gave her thoughtful feedback and some concrete actions she could take, and she seemed pleased.

My conundrum is, the division where my colleague works is known to be fairly socially conservative. My colleague has multiple facial piercings and multiple visible tattoos. I have no issue with either (I have visible tattoos myself and no facial piercings, but more than an average number of ear piercings). I cannot think of anyone else in her division with either, and they are not very common in our industry—in fact, until about five years ago, both were prohibited by policy.

It absolutely maddens me to write this, but my gut is that her facial piercings and/or tattoos may be impacting others’ perceptions of her, which could impact her desired career growth. Should I say something to her about it? We have a friendly enough relationship that I could. If I do, do you have recommendations for a script that might help both of us feel less icky?

—Millennial Mentor

Dear Mentor,

Thank you for advising your colleague on how to advance her career. Isn’t it a pleasure to pay it forward and help more junior colleagues, as more senior colleagues helped you? You’re probably right that her peers in a socially conservative department judge your mentee for her appearance. Five years isn’t that long ago, and the more traditional people she works with may still be adjusting to tattoos and piercings being acceptable. Your mentee is probably aware that she stands out in her department and in your industry.

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As with most cultural conflicts, there are two general strategies for resolution: conform to the existing norms, or change them. For the first option, she could, of course, cover up some of her tattoos with long sleeves or high-necked clothes. She could take out some piercings during the workday. She has probably thought of this, though, and decided against it, and I think your gut is right that it wouldn’t help her if you point out the problem.

You could, instead, help her present her differences as strengths. Any industry has to adapt, as yours has started to do by allowing tattoos and piercings. Presumably, the rules changed so your organization could recruit a younger or more diverse set of workers, customers, or clients. The next time your mentee goes up for a promotion, encourage her to emphasize her fresh perspective. She can say she’ll help steer your organization into the future and will help it grow and reach new audiences. She doesn’t have to say explicitly that the organization is still too stodgy—it’s better to focus on new opportunities. She should also emphasize her commitment to the organization’s shared values, to reassure anyone who thinks she’s too much of a rebel because she’s inked. Help her make a positive case for her creativity and potential, in a way that doesn’t threaten her more buttoned-up colleagues.

—Laura

Classic Prudie

What is your take on expectations of women these days? I can’t tell if I’m a total dud or normal, but I feel exhausted by the expectations of me. I am a mother of a young child, and this is my main priority. I do all the parenting (literally), and my husband’s only expectation in this area is to say hello to our child when he gets home. You could argue that this dynamic is my fault, but among my friends it’s actually pretty common that the mom does the lion’s share of parenting.