What a relief it must have been for the His Majesty the King to discover that Sir Sadiq Khan, knighted by the monarch in the New Year’s honours, was well satisfied with his experience at the Palace last week.

As Sir Sadiq told reporters after his investiture, ‘He [the King] was very chuffed that he managed to personally give me this honour, and he actually apologised for it taking so long – which is not a problem at all.’

Well, that’s a relief. God forbid the humble King should dare to inconvenience His Supreme Eminence Sir Sadiq.

As to why the monarch feels the need to apologise to Khan – or anyone, for that matter – for not knighting him sooner, that just seems bizarre. 

But then the King does seem to have an affinity with the current crop of Labour politicians.

His friendship with the Deputy Prime Minister, Angela Rayner, for example, has become notable in recent months, even though she once referred to his brother, Prince Andrew, as a ‘nonce’.

The pair are frequently pictured together, and by the look of it he finds her enthralling. For her part, she says: ‘He’s got a really good sense of humour. I know this might sound odd coming from me but he’s easy to get along with.’

Sir Sadiq Khan told reporters after his investiture, ‘He [the King] was very chuffed that he managed to personally give me this honour, and he actually apologised for it taking so long – which is not a problem at all’

Excellent. Give that monarch a five-star Google review!

But I digress. Khan’s remarks are telling because they expose the astonishing extent of his entitlement, not to mention elitism.

I always thought those on the political Left felt themselves above such baubles as knighthoods and other honours, being as they are, well you know, symbols of the oppressive white imperialist establishment that they are so generally keen to eradicate.

Except, of course, when it suits their purpose. In the same way that David Lammy can describe Donald Trump as a ‘tyrant’ and ‘woman-hating, neo-Nazi-sympathising sociopath’ one moment and practically his best friend the next, the world looks very different once you’re on the other side of the velvet rope.

The problem here, I think, is that I have this naive belief that a knighthood (or any other sort of honour) is something that is to be deserved, not expected. 

When I think of a knight of the realm or a dame, I think of someone who has done something brave and unique, proven themselves in the face of adversity, gone against the grain, broken new ground, defied the odds – that kind of thing.

When I think of a knight of the realm or a dame, I think of someone who has done something brave and unique, proven themselves in the face of adversity, gone against the grain, broken new ground, defied the odds. Someone, for example, like J.K. Rowling, who has worked harder to protect the rights of vulnerable women and girls than almost anyone in recent years

Someone, for example, like J.K. Rowling, who has worked harder to protect the rights of vulnerable women and girls than almost anyone in recent years, and at no small cost to her own safety.

That, and given millions of children untold joy with her writing. She has twice been offered a peerage, we are told – but has turned it down.

And with the likes of Khan now among the realms of the knighted, I can see why.

Quite apart from his woke appeasement of every crackpot pressure group going, I challenge anyone to find many Londoners who think Khan has changed the capital city for the better.

The place is in constant gridlock thanks to miles of cycle lanes and low emission zones, overrun by gangs of feral youths on scooters, knife crime has increased by more than 50 per cent, the Tube is covered in graffiti and the entire place smells so strongly of weed you can practically get high just walking down the street.

It’s a mess, and it’s on his watch. Why such a generous gong for such obvious failure? It makes no sense – but worse of all, it devalues the entire system.

Likewise, the elevation of David Beckham. Unlike Khan, Beckham is at least universally popular and greatly loved, and with good reason. He’s a very amiable chap who has made a huge success of his life, and he looks absolutely super in a pair of swimming trunks. But does that mean he should be a knight of the realm?

David Beckham does stuff for charity, but so do lots of people, and one can’t help feeling it’s a tad performative. It’s just part of the box-ticking exercise necessary to qualify, along with his new-found passion for horticulture and bee-keeping, both passions that are shared by the King

Sure, he does stuff for charity, but so do lots of people, and like all these celebrities with their eyes on a gong, one can’t help feeling it’s a tad performative. 

It’s just part of the box-ticking exercise necessary to qualify, along with his new-found passion for horticulture and bee-keeping, both passions that are shared by the King. 

And, of course, when it comes to entitlement, let’s not forget those leaked emails in which he called the honours committee a disgrace and ‘a bunch of unappreciative c***s’. 

That was back when they rejected him over questionable tax status (now resolved). I imagine now the tone is rather different.

But that’s the problem: these things have become a bureaucratic process rather than genuine, heartfelt rewards, which means that they tend to go to those who, while not necessarily undeserving, do nonetheless know how to play the game and are therefore, by definition, already part of the establishment.

There is an unspoken protocol and a series of hoops to be jumped through. If you know what these are, and have the right advocates, you can make the grade. It’s as simple as that.

And it can cut both ways: there are plenty of very deserving people who don’t get their acknowledgement for the simple reason that they aren’t prepared to play the game, or they don’t have the right ‘optics’.

They are the ones who are truly deserving – not this skilled army of smug, self-satisfied sycophants.

Alexa’s plastered!

When Alex Chung looks like she’s wearing a surgical bandage, you know someone’s lost the plot

The fashionistas were out in force in London last week to celebrate the re-opening of the Miu Miu shop in Bond Street. 

I own precisely one item of Miu Miu, a vintage yellow handbag that my daughter bought for me via eBay for my birthday. I love it. 

Sadly the same can’t be said of their clothes. When even the delectable Alexa Chung, left, who never puts so much as a sartorial toenail wrong, looks like she’s wearing a surgical bandage, you know someone’s lost the plot.

A friend of mine went to something called ‘Founders Forum’ the other day, which is essentially a summit for entrepreneurs scouting for the next Big Thing. 

All the talk was of the ‘limbic economy’. 

The limbic part of the human brain is the region that responds to pleasure stimuli – by targeting our predilection for addiction, instant gratification and other harmful behaviour, companies can turn big profits. 

Remember that next time you find yourself scrolling TikTok Shop. 

Survivor’s miracle escape 

How Vishwashkumar Ramesh, the passenger in seat 11A on the doomed Air India flight that crashed shortly after take-off last week, survived virtually unscathed is a mystery that will no doubt puzzle aviation experts for years to come. 

Given the tragic loss of life – more than 240 souls – it seems nothing short of miraculous. 

One thing is for certain, though: now there’s always going to be a scramble for seat 11A.

After seven more members of an Asian grooming gang from Rochdale were convicted of exploiting two girls aged 13 as ‘sex slaves’, the PM has finally announced a long-overdue national inquiry. 

The next step is to ensure it is properly independent. 

Given that on Thursday Dominic Cummings claimed that when the Coalition took over from Labour in 2010 ‘there were mass cover-ups of the whole thing in Whitehall’, perhaps he may be the right person to lead it. 

After all, no one can accuse him of sparing anyone’s blushes. 

Double act

The Princess of Wales and Princess Charlotte in similar outfits  at Trooping the Colour

Some people think it’s a bit naff, but for me there’s nothing sweeter than mums and their daughters wearing the same, or similar, outfits, as seen on the Princess of Wales and Princess Charlotte, ten, right, at Trooping the Colour. 

Enjoy it while you can, Ma’am – in my experience it won’t be long before she won’t want to be seen dead in the same room as you, let alone the same outfit!

I am very ambivalent about Israel’s strategy in Gaza – as, I know, are many Israelis. However, when it comes to Iran, Israel is doing the world a favour. 

Someone has to stand up to this wicked, misogynistic regime, and it seems Israel is the only country in the world with the courage to do so. 

When are our politicians going to show the same backbone?